From the Rubble
by PCGirl
Summary: Begins Fall 2008. The bomb Tess planted goes off in the basement of Llanfair, but Natalie is nowhere to be found. Can they find her before it's too late? And after they do will anyone ever be the same? Jolie.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters are property of ABC/Disney. I'm just using them to share a little new creativity with you.

A/N: Yep, I'm back-with a chapter story! Woo hoo! I really didn't see this coming, but there is a future scene that has been sitting on my Google drive since I guess 2008/2009 wanting to be worked in some how. The rest of the story just came to me and I'm kinda glad it did. Ya'll enjoy! Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

Bo took a deep breath as he walked off the elevator and onto the maternity floor where he was told he'd find his brother and Viki. He wasn't sure exactly how to explain what had happened over the last few hours and knowing why they were here now threw a bigger wrench into the mix than he planned.

Clint spotted his brother and walked over to shake his hand, "Bo, I'm surprised to see you. Jessica had the baby early, but everything is ok."

"Good," he nodded, keeping his head down for a moment. "I'm here about Natalie and Jared."

"Did they show back up?" asked Viki, hopeful for good news.

"Viki-there was an explosion in the basement of Llanfair. Nobody else was home, and we're not completely sure what happened."

"Oh God," she said as she pressed her hand to her chest. "Where is she? Where's my daughter, Bo?"

"That's the thing. There was apparently a sound proof room down there-we found Banks and he's being taken to ICU now-but he's muttered Natalie's name a few times."

"And Natalie?" questioned Viki again.

"So far we've found no sign of her in the rubble. The structure took a definite hit so we're having to be very careful to not cause any collapsing. You won't be able to go back home for quite a while, Viki. I'm sorry."

"You can stay with me," said Clint as he placed his hands firmly on her shoulders to hold both of them upright.

"He was keeping her there all this time?" questioned Clint, ready to head off this floor and pull the plug on Jared himself if he was the one keeping her from her family.

"We're not sure he was," he said with a sigh. "He also mentioned Tess."

"Tess?" they both repeated and then looked at the room where their one daughter was resting.

"I don't know anything-and I won't until Jared wakes up. I know Jess just had the baby, but I need to talk to her-need to find out if it's been her or Tess all these months."

"I understand," nodded Viki solemnly-hating the thought of not seeing what was clearly in front of her all this time. "She's resting now-when she wakes, we'll call you."

"Thanks, I need to get back to Llanfair. As soon as we know something, I'll let you know," he said and walked away quietly, hoping for some good news soon.

* * *

Bo walked into the holding cell area with his head down-it felt like time was against them as they searched for Natalie and now he was having to deal with this. Walking to the cell in question he yelled at his best detective that was lying on a cot on the other side, "John!"

"Bo-hey. Listen-I'm sorry I did it the way I did," he said as he jumped off the cot and began explaining himself on the rescue of Marty Saybrooke that put him on this side of the bars once again.

"Can it. I don't care why the hell you decided to go all Batman and crash through Manning's window the way you did. But you did it-and that's that. Now I have a great detective suspended while the Mayor is breathing down my neck to fire you. And I could really use your help on a new case that's come up."

"What is it? I still have my contacts with the Bureau that can help out."

"I have my own-don't worry. Nora says arraignment for bail will be in the morning. Get some sleep," he said without bringing up his niece's name. He knew John-knew he'd flip his lid for the second time tonight if he knew she was in danger and he couldn't help find her.

John watched as his colleague walked off-there was something he wasn't telling him-something big. "Jack," he hollered and waited for the officer to walk over towards him. He knew if it was big then Antonio and Talia would be handling it.

"What, McBain?"

"Do you know where Antonio and Sahid are right now?"

"I think they are over at Llanfair with the heat radar."

"What the hell for?" he asked, the bile rising in his throat and feeling like he was going to be sick.

"The explosion at Llanfair-a bomb went off in a room in the basement. I don't know much else."

He did though-he could read it on the man's face. Most everyone in this building cared for her-even if she wasn't one of them anymore, "Who are they looking for?"

"Natalie," he said, and John just nodded and went back to sit on his cot. He waited until he heard the officer out of earshot and then grabbed the trashcan in the corner and let himself be sick.

He closed his eyes and tried to think-tried to remember the last time he'd seen her. He realized he couldn't-that it had been over six months since they spoke last-and hoping it wasn't the last time he suddenly said a prayer to St Jude for the impossible and St Dwynwen to watch after her until he could get to her.

* * *

Antonio knew who it was when the banging on the door started-he'd worked through the night at Llanfair-watching the field tech's work slowly through the debris trying to find some proof of Natalie. Had she been in the room or not? That was the main question-and then about 3 in the morning they found some hair and had confirmation that she had been in the room at some point. They were pretty sure she wasn't there now-in any form.

Which led to the question-where the hell was she?

After calling Bo with that update he'd bipassed the warnings of the building being possibly unstable and gone upstairs and began investigating the main floor of Llanfair. He'd spotted the camera in the library-Tess hadn't even tried to hide them. With them being in plain sight he started searching for a recording machine hoping maybe she was keeping track of everyone else's movements in the house. He'd found that too-in Jessica's closet.

Opening the door he looked at John-he seemed to be as tired and worn down as Antonio felt.

"Why are you here? Why aren't you out there looking for her?" questioned John, pushing his way into the apartment.

"You know I can't talk to you about an ongoing investigation, John."

"An ongoing investigation?" he laughed. "Is that all she is to you now?"

Antonio's eyes got dark at the insinuation in John's voice, "No. She's a former sister-in-law twice. She's a friend. And for the past two months she was being held down in that room against her will by her mentally unstable sister. So, no-she's more than just an ongoing investigation."

"Just tell me what you know," he said, his eyes pleading with his friend for some assurance she was going to be ok.

"I can't. I'm sorry, John."

"I need to help," he said as he sat down on the couch and covered his face with his hands. He hadn't felt so useless since he was in the burn unit in Atlantic City, unable to move, unable to speak-and right now he felt like he could barely breathe. "At least tell me if there's a body."

Antonio took a gulp-he knew Bo would yell at him later for letting John in on any part of the investigation, "No-there's no body. They finished sifting through the rubble earlier. I found some stuff that is now being looked over by the guys in Forensics. I came back awhile ago to try and get some sleep," he said with a slight laugh. Sleep had never come.

John laughed at the word sleep-every time he closed his eyes while in the holding cell earlier he'd see her-not just the good memories but the bad. When he'd deny how he felt about her. When he pushed her away as he recovered last year. When he turned her into someone neither of them could stand so she left the police station and he saw less and less of her as she moved into another man's orbit and out of his.

He wondered how they'd gotten to this point of it all. When Banks had brought him the letter from her he'd thought she was off enjoying herself-figuring herself out once again. That's what he kept telling himself even after she never came back when Rex was shot. But he'd been so wrong-so focused on the potential of Marty being alive that he couldn't feel her screaming for him to rescue her.

Standing back up he said nothing else to his friend-just walked out of the apartment and began working on a plan to find someone that had meant so much to him for so long.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: These chapters are on the shortish-side, but the good news is that I actually have been working on this baby for awhile and it's mostly ready to post. :) Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

Bo walked to the door and knocked before entering the hospital room. He had been trying to put out other fires today and hadn't made it back to talk with Jessica until now. The biggest fire had been with Balsom-threatening to find something to put him in lockup for if it meant he would recover from his gunshot wound instead of trying to find his sister. Balsom had given in-for now.

"Hey Jess," he tried to put on a smile for her. "And who is this little one?" he asked and smiled at the little bundle she was holding.

"This is Chloe. Chloe, this is your Uncle Bo."

"Don't forget the great," he smiled and gave her a wink. "Jessica-I need to talk to you about the past few months. And Natalie."

"Bo, do we really have to do this now?" asked Clint.

Bo looked at his brother and seriously wanted to deck him-putting the daughter he raised above the other was nothing new. He just thought that maybe with Natalie being in such danger he'd change this time, apparently not. "We need to get to the bottom of this-and I need to ask Jess some questions."

Jessica looked at the others in the room, trying to figure out what was going on, "Mom-can you get a nurse to take Chloe back to the nursery for a bit?"

"Of course, sweetie," she said and took Chloe from her before leaving the room quickly.

"What's going on with Natalie?"

"Tess has been out these past few months, hasn't she?"

Jessica looked down at her hands and nodded, "Yes, I believe so."

"Oh Jessie," sighed Viki as she came back in the room and heard the confirmation. She walked over and sat down, taking her hand.

"Did Tess do something? Is Natalie ok?" she asked as she began trying to remember something-anything-from the past few months.

Bo sighed, "A soundproof room was built in the basement of Llanfair. There's evidence that Natalie was in that room at some point."

"At some point? Where is she now?"

"We don't know, sweetie. A bomb was set off in the room last night. Jared was found in the rubble-it looks like he's going to make it, but we can't find Natalie."

"I-I killed my sister?" she asked, her eyes swimming with tears and suddenly feeling lightheaded.

"No, I don't think you did. She knew it wasn't you, Jess. She knows you love her and wouldn't have done that."

"You have to find her, Uncle Bo. You have to bring my sister back so I can apologize," she said with tears in her eyes.

Bo nodded, hating the hurt he saw in his niece's eyes. And he knew the guilt everyone that loved Natalie would have if they didn't bring her home safely, "We're working on finding her. We'll bring her home so we all can apologize to her."

* * *

"What is the update?" asked Bo as Antonio and Talia both stood in his office at the end of the first day. The first 24 hours were the most crucial and he felt like they were grabbing at very little. He'd been able to breathe a little easier the night before when Antonio called and said there was no body in the rubble.

"Forensics finished going through the video surveillance. It was on an auto record, so it recorded over itself after 24 hours."

"So, we at least have the last twenty-four hours to know what was going on in that house."

Antonio nodded and handed over a few pictures that had been captured off the camera. It was a man walking into the kitchen of Llanfair, he hadn't recognized him and by Bo's expression neither did he, "This was taken about ten minutes before the bomb went off."

"So, this man-whoever he is-was there when it went off? Do we have video him leaving with Natalie?"

"No, the explosion knocked that camera out of service. So, we don't know what shape she was in when he carried her out."

"Or what type of help he may have had," he sighed. "Run his picture through facial recognition software and get a copy over for Viki and Clint to take a look at it. Maybe they'll recoginze him."

"Will do, Boss," they said as they left the office.

Bo turned around in the chair and looked at the photo he kept behind his desk-one with his two nieces' in it. "Nat, where are you?" he said quietly to himself.

* * *

John laid on the couch with his eyes closed-trying to figure out the next step. He'd driven around town trying to come up with any possible place he thought she might be if she were to escape that room before it blew. First, he checked the cottage and Crossroads and found both empty, so he'd driven up to the Buchanan Lodge to see if maybe she'd made it there. But it was quiet as well.

When he'd made it home, he'd gone to the roof-thinking maybe she'd gone there and was waiting for him to find her. No luck there either-nothing but memories of a life nearly forgotten.

In between all the stops he'd gone to the hospital to try and talk to Jared-to beat it out of him of what he did with her or what he knew. But there was a guard posted with extreme orders to not let anyone in-especially John.

Bo knew him too well.

Hearing the knock on the door he almost wanted to ignore it-but hearing his name being said from the other side he went to open it and gave Blair a polite nod before letting her in.

"John-how are you doing?"

He laughed at the question and went and got a fresh beer from the fridge, "One minute I'm finding out Marty is alive, and Manning's held her for months, the next I'm finding out Natalie might be dead, and her sister has been holding her for months."

"I'm sorry-is there an update on Natalie?"

"She wasn't in the rubble-that's all I could get out of Antonio. Because of the stunt I pulled at Todd's Bo has me suspended and won't let me anywhere near the case."

"I'm sure you'll be reinstated soon. You are his best detective, and everyone knows how much Natalie means to you."

"Antonio and Talia are on the case," he said as he heard something and looked behind Blair to see a piece of paper be slid under the door. Walking over he carefully picked it up and read the note on it, _This is who has her. _"And apparently so am I," he said as he showed the picture of the man in the kitchen of Llanfair to Blair.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The name I used for a character is just coincidence. Was trying to come up with something and decided it would work. Hope you enjoy the twist at the end. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

John studied the crime scene pictures that had come in a manila envelope earlier. He knew they were from Antonio-whether Bo was aware that he had them he wasn't sure.

He wondered if he could get into Llanfair-see the area himself and maybe catch something that Antonio and the techs missed. Deciding he needed to get take a break he stood up and turned to see Natalie leaning against the door frame to the bedroom.

"You figure it out yet?" she asked and then began to walk towards the slot machine.

He rubbed his face at his mind playing tricks on him, "Which part? Where you are now? Who this guy is?"

"Why don't you start with where I may have been in order to keep from being killed?"

John walked back over studied the rendering of the room layout.

"Wasn't it thoughtful for Tess to give me a toilet?" she laughed as she walked over and looked around him so she could look at the drawing too. "Maybe they missed something in the initial sweep. Something to tell you where the guy had been-or where he was going?" she said as John watched something fall out of her hands and onto the picture on the coffee table.

Leaning down to grab the object it was suddenly gone and then so was Natalie-though her scent was still in the air-a combination of vanilla and strawberries that always reminded him of her. Looking at the picture on top he saw something on top of the rubble-something that must have fallen out after the explosion, "What is that?" he said to himself and then grabbed his jacket before taking off.

* * *

As John made his way down the steps into the basement, he could hear someone else was already here. Coming out into the mess he wasn't surprised as to who he'd found, "Balsom," he said and watched the young man jump.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were suspended."

"And I thought you were recovering from a gunshot wound," he said as he tried to find solid rubble to walk on and make his way through the space.

"Like either of those things are going to stop us from finding Nattie."

John nodded and kept walking towards where the bathroom would have been. He wasn't sure what he was looking for at first, but it stuck out-white against the rest of the gray. Grabbing his handkerchief out of his pocket he leaned down and picked it up.

"What is that?" asked Rex as he finally made his way over to where John was.

John held up the green and white matchbook for The Lakeside Inn a couple hours away.

"How did you know that was there?"

John shook his head, he wasn't about to say Natalie told him or else he'd be sent to St Anne's right beside Jessica. "I saw something in one of the pictures."

"Pictures, eh?" he asked with a raised eyebrow at John. He knew the man normally saw everything as black and white, but when it came to Natalie it seemed to get very gray.

"How I got them doesn't matter right now, Rex. Didn't we both just say we wouldn't let anything stop us from finding Natalie?"

"Well, then what are we doing standing here-let's go," said Rex as he turned and began trying to make his way back through safely.

"You-aren't going anywhere, Balsom," said John as he made his way behind Rex.

"You can't stop me, McBain."

"I can't, but if something happens to you before Natalie gets back, she'll kill me. So, go home and let your body recover. I'll let you know what I find out."

* * *

"Hey-you the manager here?" asked John as he walked up to an employee at the Inn.

"I don't talk to cops."

"I'm not a cop. So, is that a yes?"

The man looked John up and down before snarking back, "Could have fooled me."

"Listen, I'm looking for a friend of mine-I think she might be with this guy," he said as he pulled out the folded-up surveillance photo and handed it over. "Probably here a few weeks back."

"Yeah, I've seen him."

"And-does he have a name?"

"I can't remember," he said as he held his hand out as if waiting for a bribe.

John groaned, he didn't have time for this crap. Maybe he should have brought Rex with him after all. People were more willing to talk to someone that looked less cop-ish. Pulling out his wallet he found a twenty and handed it over.

"Oh yeah," he said as he shoved the money in his pocket. "I remember his name now. Hank Archer."

"Amazing how the name suddenly came to you," he said with an eye roll. "Any other details you might remember? Like where he's from? Who he visited with?"

"He's been here a few other times-once with a dark blonde-haired guy. But that was months ago."

John pulled out a photo of Jared and showed him, "This guy?"

"Yeah."

"And the other times?"

"An older guy-kept spouting biblical quotes at me," he said with a shrug and walked off.

John stood there in reflection for a moment before pulling out his cell. "Aaron-hey. I need a favor. I'm going to send you over a picture. Guy's name is Hank Archer. Need everything you can give me on him, and I need it yesterday."

* * *

Natalie took a breath as she heard the door open to her room and saw the gentleman that had been taking care of her since her rescue, "Hi."

"Hello. How is our patient today?"

"I'm feeling better," she said as she tried to stay calm, her nerves over all of this were fried and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. "When can I see Jared?"

"Soon enough-he's healing nicely, I hear."

"It was such luck that you found us when you did. Have you gotten a hold of my parents?"

"Uhm, yes. They said they were glad to hear you were doing well and would come visit soon."

"Oh, ok," she said as she looked down at her hands.

"I'm going to get you some breakfast. We need to keep your strength up for your reunion with your loved ones."

"Thank you" she smiled and watched him walk out of the door. She knew the man was lying about her parents knowing she was ok. She involuntarily shivered remembering what she heard right before the explosion and exactly who he was speaking of when he mentioned loved ones.

_"Sparky, why don't you go in the bathroom. It'll be safer in there," said Jared as he looked at her and the man on the other side of the glass._

_"Come with me," she begged._

_"I'll be right there-let me see if I can help this guy figure out the bomb."_

_"Ok," she said and closed the door and put herself in a position to protect herself from falling debris._

_"How'd you get into this mess, Banks?"_

_"I didn't do this-her crazy sister did."_

_"Don't talk of Jessica that way-he wouldn't like it."_

_"I don't care what he does or doesn't like-I don't care if she is his damn daughter. The girl is as nuts as he is."_

_"But he is the Messenger and we are to obey his commands. Get back-I can't get it to turn off. It's going to explode."_

Natalie had barricaded herself against the door when she heard him coming-he banged on it yelling for her to let him in during those last few seconds. The explosion had knocked her unconscious. By the time she woke up she was here-wherever here was. She didn't know if Jared had survived or not but knowing that he had been working for Mitch this whole time made her hope he was burning in hell now.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, man-thanks for the quick turn around on that info," spoke John on his cell phone as he made his way up the steps to his room. He'd just dropped off a copy of the report at the diner for Antonio to pick up shortly. There were some major flags that he wanted to discuss, and realized he was going to have to go to Bo to get in on whatever the next step was.

"No problem. But apparently the search for his name popped up on someone else's radar. Just giving you a heads up about that."

"Oh yeah?" he asked as he unlocked the door and threw his keys on the table.

"They are planning a sting operation, John."

"On the compound?" he asked, stopping in his tracks as his mind began to race on his options.

"Within the next forty-eight."

"I want in, I don't care how you do it-do it."

"I had a feeling you'd say that. Already got approval," he laughed and gave him the details on location.

John had his bag halfway packed when he heard a banging on the door and then his named called on the other side. Stopping what he was doing he went and opened to see an upset Bo on the other side.

"You want to tell me why I just got a call from my contact at the FBI about Natalie's case? That he had more details to give my Chief of Detective's but couldn't reach him on his office line so called me?"

John gave a loud sigh as he walked back in to the room, "I'm sorry, Bo. But you had to know I wasn't going to stand around and do nothing."

"Have you been keeping information from the police on an ongoing investigation, John?"

"No," he said as he put his hands on his hips, hating that he was going to throw his friend under the bus. "Everything I've learned I have passed onto Antonio. There is nothing I know about that he doesn't-that's a promise."

"Antonio? He's been giving you information?"

"Not a lot, just these," he said as he grabbed the photos and handed them over.

"So, the matchbook-was you?"

John nodded, "I went to the Inn by myself-the guy gave me some run around, but finally gave me a name. I had my buddy at the Bureau do a deep background and came up with this," he said as he handed his copy of the report over. "Look at the last page."

Bo flipped to the last page and read it out loud, "Person has contacts with an underground cult. Location of cult is known, but cult leader is unknown at this time, though seems to be previously active and greatly influenced in religious beliefs."

Bo paused at the last words, "You think this is-,".

"Mitch Lawrence," he said, finishing Bo's sentence. "I remember reading a bit about him when I read up on Natalie during the Walker Flynn case. He was a real piece of work."

"That's an understatement. I-," he sighed, unsure where to start. "Were you going somewhere?" he said as he noticed the open bag sitting on the bed.

"My buddy Aaron called me. They are about to take this compound-it was already in the works before we found the connection to Natalie. That's probably what your contact wanted me to know. I want in on it-I didn't look for her while she was in that room. I need to rescue her more than ever."

Bo nodded, "You find my niece. I'm going to go see Clint and Viki and tell them what's going on. And get some extra security on Jessica. When it's all said and done you, me and Antonio are all going to have a sit down in my office about this side investigation."

"Understood," he said as he turned back to finish packing the bag.

"And John-," said Bo as he got to the door and paused to look back at the other man. "Thank you for your work."

"Anytime," he said with a half smirk.

* * *

Bo walked into the Buchanan Mansion glad his father wasn't alive. If he knew that Mitch Lawrence was alive and had Natalie it could very well kill the man. He'd called the station and asked that an officer be sent over to St Anne's and placed outside Jessica's door just in case. Now he was here to tell his brother and Viki just how much trouble their other daughter was in-and hoping that John and the rest of the FBI task force could get her out safely.

"Bo-I was just about to call you," said Clint as he watched him walk into the living room. "I just got a message from St Anne's about a guard being placed outside Jessie's room. You aren't going to charge her with anything, are you? She wasn't in her right mind-you know that."

"I haven't made a final call on that situation-the guard is there for her protection."

"Protection from what?" asked Viki.

"Mitch Lawrence. Apparently, he's alive and we have strong reason to believe he has Natalie."

"Oh God," she said and sat back down in the chair she'd just stood up from. "Do we know where they are?"

"I do not, but the FBI does. They are in the final steps of going into the compound. John is going to join them."

"Well, that's a good thing then-right?" asked Viki. "Together or not we know John cares for Natalie. He'll keep her safe."

Bo nodded, "We just have to hope he gets in there before something happens to her or Mitch gets wind of this and goes on the run with Natalie."

* * *

John strapped on the gear that had been given to him and looked next to one of the few men he could say he trusted his life completely with, "What?" he asked cracking a smile at Aaron.

"What is this girl to you?"

John shook his head, "A friend. That's all."

Aaron shook his head, his sandy blonde hair swaying from side to side, "The John McBain I know doesn't have friends. At least not the female kind."

"We dated. A few times, ok?" he said, not wanting to get into the depth of his relationship with Natalie at the moment. Not how it was her that brought him back to the land of the living and finally helped him move on past Caitlyn.

"Ahh," he laughed.

"Ahh? What the hell does that mean?"

"Craig and Brett said that whatever made you leave the FBI she must have been hot as hell."

"When did you start listening to those idiots?" he laughed.

"You have a picture?" he asked and laughed when John pulled one out of his pocket. "Yep. Hot as hell."

"Ok, Romeo," he said with a shake of his head. "Can we get serious for a minute?"

"Always," he said and watched his friend turn off the banter without batting an eye. It was one of the things he admired the most about his former partner-his ability to compartmentalize so quickly.

"This guy-I've never met him, but I was told some stories by Bo and Antonio. He can twist your thoughts or words and I'm seriously worried about Natalie being around him for any length of time. It's not that she believes him-but she wasn't raised by the Buchanan's. She's never felt to par with them and their lives. Some stuff happened back home and then this guy got a hold of her."

"So, he's probably already playing on the insecurities she has."

"Definitely."

* * *

Natalie walked down the hallway quietly, her bare feet making little noise. She didn't remember falling asleep earlier so when she woke now wearing a white nightgown she froze. The bile rose again in her throat at the thought of someone changing her clothes without her knowledge or permission. The door to her room was unlocked when she woke and now the only light came from a room at the end of the hall.

She had a strong feeling what to expect at the door and readied herself to face him-to tell him exactly where he could go.

Fight or flight-she was going to do both tonight.

Strong. That's what she always remembered John, Rex, and Bo describing her as—reaching the doorway she hoped she could prove them right on that.

"Mitch," she said and watched as he turned away from the fireplace and smiled at her.

"If it isn't my beautiful bride," he said as he neared her.

"There is no way I am your bride and why aren't you burning in hell where you belong?" she asked, taking a step backwards, but making sure he didn't get between her and the door.

"God has other plans for me, I suppose. Plans that include finally consummating our marriage," he said as he looked over towards the bed.

"You can add delusional if you think I'd ever sleep with you."

"It's not like anyone is looking for you. Not after what you did to my poor son-in-law. And losing the family company too. Tsk tsk. You have not been a good girl, Natalie," he said as he pushed her hair off her shoulder, and she tried to not let him see her fear.

"You are not Jessica's father, and what happened to Nash was an accident."

"Even so-your actions as of late have not been very becoming of the Buchanan name. So why don't we stop using that name and you can finally take your husband's," he said as he grabbed her and threw her onto the bed.

* * *

A/N: #sorrynotsorry for the cliffhanger. :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Trying to post through my phone so if layout is wonky I'll fix it later. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

John and Aaron made their way onto the floor-the rest of the task force was still downstairs dealing with the followers of this cult. He had shown Natalie's picture around until someone admitted they recognized her-said she was the Messenger's bride and they were up here consummating their marriage.

The idea of Natalie being put in that position made his stomach churn, so they quickly made their way up here alone, the only back up they needed was each other.

John could hear Natalie's voice at the end of the hall, she was fighting who he could only assume was Mitch. He wanted to smile at knowing she hadn't lost her fight yet, but instead looked at Aaron and gave a nod as they went together into the room, "Freeze, Lawrence."

He felt sick at seeing Natalie pinned against the mattress. Making eye contact he saw a relief at seeing him wash over her face and his feeling of dread subsided. He'd got to her in time.

"Excuse me, gentlemen-but my wife and I-."

"She's not your wife," said John coolly. "Now step away from her or I'll shoot."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," he said as he aimed.

"Natalie is here completely by her own free will. Tell him my darling," he said as he looked towards her.

"Like hell it is," she said and took the opportunity to kick him and push him off her.

Aaron went over and pinned Mitch to the floor before he had a chance to retaliate while John grabbed Natalie off the bed and pulled her towards him. "Are you ok?" he whispered and felt her shake her head against his chest.

"Get these clothes off me-they drugged me and put them on while I was asleep," she said as she looked up at him, her blue eyes swimming with tears as his mind raced with what else they may have done while she was unconscious.

"I'm here-I've got you," he said as he pulled her close again before leaving the room as the rest of the FBI agents came down the hall.

* * *

Natalie sat in the interrogation room alone. Her mind racing with everything that had just happened. She wasn't expecting John to show up, but at seeing him standing in the doorway, rescuing her again, it was enough to fight Mitch off. Hopefully for the last time.

Looking down at her clothes she was happy that the other man with him had a spare set of sweats in his car. She thought she remembered John calling him Aaron-someone from the Bureau.

She felt like she was drowning right now-everything from the past few months crashing down on her, and she wasn't sure how to stay afloat.

At hearing the door open she saw a new agent come in and she gave him a polite nod, "When can I get out of here?"

"Soon, I know you are ready put this all behind you. I just have some questions. When did you first encounter Mitch Lawrence?"

Natalie laughed at the question, "How long do you have?"

* * *

"I'm going to stay a few extra days to help Aaron wrap this up, Bo. As soon as they finish talking to her and we get her cleared by the doctor's I'll put her on the next plane home," said John as he finished his conversation with Bo and then sat down next to Aaron.

Aaron had been observing John quietly-watching how he handled Natalie during this time. Finally coming up with something to say he gave him a half smile, "You always treat her with kid gloves?"

John laughed, thinking back to the moments in the past when he told her off for one reason or another.

_If you get me why is it you keep trying to piss me off?_

_Ahh, but you were told to stay out of it._

_No, you know what you want? You know what you want? You want some guy that's going to take on everything you're dishing and not give it back to you. That's what you want. Guess what, Natalie-that'll never be me, ever!_

"Definitely not. I may have underplayed our relationship earlier."

"Shocker," he said with a grin. "I could tell earlier-that it wasn't just casual dating with you two."

"Since I've come into her life I have been the source of a majority of her hurt or pain. And yet she never walked-not until the end when we realized it was for the best. We've been out of each other's orbits for a bit, and months ago it was suggested to me that she was in trouble. I brushed it off-pretended she didn't matter as much to me anymore as before. And the whole while she was being held captive-twice.

"It may seem like I'm treating her with kid gloves this time because even the strongest building will crumble under the right amount of pressure."

* * *

Natalie sat on the side of the exam table waiting for the doctor to come back in and give her the ok to be released. Looking over she saw John sitting there quietly, not saying anything, just hanging his head down and his hands interlocked on the back of his neck, "You don't have to stay, John."

Looking up he gave her a slight smirk, "Yeah, I do. I told your Uncle I would take care of you. What type of friend two either of you would I be if I didn't do that?"

She gave him a slight smile, maybe one of the first true ones she felt like she'd had in months, "You're a good friend, John. Thank you again."

"Don't mention it. If this Doc will hurry up, we can get out of here. What's the first thing you want to do when we get home?"

"Feel the sun on my face. Do you know how long it's been since I been able to do that? Or have the wind in my hair? Hell-I wouldn't mind going to AC and just sitting on the boardwalk and take in the sound of the ocean."

"And watch the sunrise?" he asked with a smile as he thought about the times they did that on the roof of the hotel.

"Yeah," she smiled back.

"I'm sure Banks is ready to see you too."

"Jared's alive?" she questioned, and John watched an expression somewhere between shock and anger appear on her face.

"Yeah-Bo had me banned from his room so I never saw him, but from what I heard he's going to make a full recovery."

"He's a disciple of Mitch's, John," she said, the friendliness that he'd just heard in her voice was replaced by a coldness he wasn't expecting.

"You're sure?" he questioned, but he already knew the answer. Something had always seemed off with the guy-he'd thought it was just because he was with Natalie.

"Positive. He and that Hank guy were talking before the bomb went off. I was inside the bathroom, but I heard him mention how he didn't care that Jessica was his daughter, she was as crazy as he was. I realized what that meant and wouldn't let him come in the bathroom-barricaded myself against the door."

John took a moment to take in this new information before standing up, "I'm glad I didn't know this before or else I'd kill him myself. I'm going to call Bo so he can pick him up and see what's taking this doctor so long You going to be ok for a few?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she said as she watched him walk out and leave her alone in the quiet.

* * *

"You need me to park and go in with you?" asked John as he pulled his car up to the drop off lane at the airport.

"I think I can handle that myself," she said with a half-smile. "And thank you again for everything-including bringing my purse and wallet with you."

"Would have made getting home a little harder," he laughed and then paused in reflection for a moment. "When I get back and you are settled, we need to go out. A couple beers at Rodi's and a game or two."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you soon."

"Safe travel home," he said as he watched her get out of the car and into the terminal safely.

Walking up the departure board she looked at it and sighed.

Home. She wasn't sure where that was right now-not just the damage the bomb caused Llanfair, but also where she was welcomed. Had the bomb and then Mitch not happened would they have forgiven her yet and welcome her with open arms? Or would there still be animosity for what happened to Nash and the loss of BE?

It seemed like everything back in Llanview was a source of pain right now, so maybe it was better to avoid it. Let everything there and with her settle. She studied the board again and saw a place she would love to visit. Walking up the agent she gave her a smile, "Hi-I'd like to purchase a one-way ticket please."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Glad ya'll are enjoying this. FYI-the last scene in this chapter is what started this story. Until next time-ya'll are the best-PCGirl

* * *

Bo heard the knock on his door and looked up to see Rex walk into his office.

"Balsom," he said with a polite nod.

"I was wondering if you heard from-," he stopped as he pulled out his phone and saw a restricted number pop up. "Hello?"

"Hey Rex."

"Nattie-hey," he said as he looked over to Bo and got his attention. John had come back to town a week ago and so far no one had heard or seen Natalie. This was the first contact she'd made with family, and though Bo was relieved she was talking to someone, he'd be even more relieved when he could see her in person himself.

"Listen-I just wanted you to know that I'm ok."

"That's great. When are you coming home?" he asked as he kept his eyes locked on Bo who was now standing in front of his desk, ready to take the phone from him and talk to her himself.

"I'm not sure I am, Rex."

"What? Tell me where you are, and I'll join you. I could use a little r&r after the gunshot wound."

"I'm so glad you are ok. Tess tried to tell me you died, but I didn't want to believe it. I can't imagine my world without you in it, Rex," she said as tears pricked her eyes.

"And I can't imagine mine without you," he said softly as he picked up a knick-knack off Bo's desk and studied it quietly for a moment. "So, come home."

"I'm not sure where that is, Rex."

"It's Llanview. You can stay with me until Llanfair is fixed."

"It's not just my physical home, Rex. I need to go-I'll call you again later."

"Nat-wait," he yelled and then heard silence.

"What'd she say?" asked Bo as he leaned against his desk, his arms crossed.

"She's not coming home. Isn't sure this is home anymore, and she'll call me later," he said as he rubbed his face.

* * *

John looked through a magazine for the hundredth time before throwing it on the coffee table. After getting everything squared with Aaron and the case against Mitch Lawrence he'd returned and had his meeting with Bo and Antonio. Suspension for two weeks for working outside of the department for both of them. He'd taken the time and visited his mom, and then tried to fill the last few days by not going out of his mind.

Hearing a knock on the door he wasn't expecting anyone, so he was surprised at seeing Victoria Davidson standing there. "Mrs. Davidson, uhm, hi."

"Hello, John. Mind if I come in?"

"Of course," he said and opened the door all the way for her to come in. Looking around the room he felt shame at it not being spotless, "Sorry-I wasn't expecting company. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine. I wanted to talk to you about Natalie."

"Has she reached out to Rex again?" he asked, having heard from Bo a few days ago about the call she'd had with him and saying she wouldn't be coming back here.

"I don't believe so. How was she when you left? Did she say anything about where she was going?"

John gave a slight smirk, "She said she was ready to be outside again. That it had been so long since she'd felt the sun or a breeze. Mentioned going to sit on the boardwalk in AC."

Viki nodded, "I'm just so worried about her, John. Before Tess took her everything was so strained-I have so much I need to tell her, and I have a feeling she won't come home. Not for a very long time."

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I can do to help."

"I hate to ask this of you-I know you got in trouble for helping find her the first time when Mitch had her. But could you use your resources and find my daughter again? It's been you that's always found her. I know you two haven't been together for a while."

"She still matters to me as a friend. I'll see what I can do," he said, trying to give reassurance to Viki.

"Oh, thank you, John. Natalie is so much different than my other children, but then there is so much of myself I see in her. Her heart, her love of those that love her. Her wanting to help others that are hurting. She is hurt now by everything that happened with Jessica and then with Mitch. I just want to do what I couldn't when she was a child and take that hurt away. Please help me do that," she asked with tears in her eyes as she walked back towards the door.

"I'll try my best," he said with a slight nod and then closed the door, trying to figure out the fastest way to find her.

* * *

John continued the path through the tropic foliage, his eyes keeping trained on the flash of red he'd see every few seconds. He was far enough back from her that he was sure she hadn't seen him. Even sitting in the lobby of the hotel as she walked past him, she seemed oblivious to it being him behind the newspaper. It also might have had something to do with him having traded in his trademark black for something a little cooler to combat the Hawaiian weather.

The walk had him wondering once again why he'd tracked her down—it would have been easy enough to run her credit cards and see where the purchases were made. But then that's not what Viki had asked—she had asked him to see that her daughter was ok.

Her daughter that he had rescued just weeks before, but never came back home. Her daughter who was now going by Balsom again and had changed her cell number so those back home couldn't tell her to come back so they could apologize in person for all she'd been put through.

As he reached the clearing, he took note of her—a blue sarong was covering her bathing suit and a gentle breeze was blowing through it. She untied it and dropped it onto of the cloth bag she'd been carrying with her. As she walked to the edge of the cliff he wondered if she was going to jump but instead she sat down, and he took a breath before coming to join her.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," she said as she put her head on her forearms that were propped on her knees.

"How'd you know I would come?" he asked, taking a seat beside her and noticing how her hair seemed to be fire with the sunlight shining down on it. Though he knew the answer he wondered if it would burn his fingers if he touched it.

"Because that's what you do, John. You find people that don't want to be found, right?"

He gave a half nod, remembering he said that to her at least once in the past, "Your mom is worried about you."

She shook her head, "I'm not a Buchanan anymore-she doesn't have to worry about me."

"She'll always worry about you-and you will always be a Buchanan."

"I'm going by Balsom again, but you knew that already, didn't you?" she asked and then looked out at the ocean, just taking in the beauty. "Tell her that I'm fine. That I'm enjoying the beauty of the world around me. And I'll be in touch."

"I would if I believed more than one of those was true."

"Why do you care where I am, John? I'm not being held captive by anyone and I'm an adult that can make her own damn choices in life."

He nodded, "You're right, but you've been through a lot and need to work through it"

"I can do that on my own."

"You can also do it with the people that love you at your side. Maybe it isn't all about you, Natalie. Maybe they need to get through everything too-starting with their actions towards you after Nash's death."

She was staring out into the ocean, but John could tell her eyes were turning a steely blue as she came to terms with what she was about to say. "I let a man who was working with my ex-husband come into my life. Into my bed, John. What type of person does that make me?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't he go after Jessica first? Wasn't it a con that Tess pulled that threw him into jail for two years?"

"Good for Tess," she shrugged. "I'm not changing my mind, John. You can go back and tell them whatever you want-but I'm not going with you."

John nodded, he wasn't going to force anything on her-she'd had enough of that lately. Standing back up he stared at the ocean, not focusing on anything specifically, "Alright-you win. Just remember, there is a town full of people back home that love you. That want to make it all up to you."

"I will," she said quietly as she kept her eyes on the ocean until John had walked off without another word.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I think this story is starting to wrap up. I could drag it out, but then I worry that it'll never get finished.

* * *

If the past month had taught Natalie anything it was that she knew what she wanted to do with her life. Go back to where everything seemed to go haywire. But since she didn't have a time machine to keep John's accident from happening she decided the least she could do was try and restart the career she truly felt she was best at.

So, taking her phone out she typed in the number and waited for it to ring. Hearing the pleasant greeting on the other end she wondered how he would take this request of her, "Yes, may I speak with Commissioner Buchanan?"

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Uhm, yes. Tell him it's his niece," she said, wondering why she was suddenly nervous. The man, at times, felt like more of a father to her than her own.

"Hey Jess. Everything ok?" asked Bo, only half paying attention as he looked through files.

"It's not Jessica."

He let out a breath at hearing her voice again, "Nat. Sweetie-hey. Are you ok? We've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Bo. I'm pretty good-actually, I've decided I want to go back into forensics."

"Really? That's great. I'll have to see when the next exam is," he said as he tried to find the paperwork on his desk.

"Not in Llanview, Bo. I've found a program where I am."

"Really?" he said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. "I know you'll be a great asset wherever you are. I guess-I just like the idea of you being right down the hall again."

"You just want me for my coffee," she laughed, the nervousness having disappeared.

"It's not just that. I want to make sure you are ok."

"I am. Or I'm trying to be. I need a reference to get into the program."

"Done. Who do I need to speak to?" he asked as she relayed the name and number for the local police department along with the program coordinator.

"Thank you so much, Uncle Bo."

"Don't mention it. Listen-can you hold off on telling anyone where I am? Especially mom and dad. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet."

Bo sighed, he hated keeping a secret from Clint, "Natalie they'd want to know you are ok."

"I am-really, Bo. I feel like I'm making a name for myself, and I'm talking with a therapist. I just am not ready for them. Calling you about this is a step-there will be more, bigger ones, I promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that. Just remember I'm here if you need me-work or personal."

"Thanks, Bo," she said as she hung up the phone.

* * *

Rex walked into the unfamiliar police station and felt unease at this idea. It had been Bo's idea, and at first he'd gone along with it. Thought the idea of showing up where Natalie had settled at was a good idea. But now he was questioning that-he had spoken in the past with John and Bo about her. And they'd all agreed that as long as they knew she was safe they were going to give her as much space as she needed.

But that was also four months ago, and he knew they were all getting antsy.

"Can I help you?" asked the receptionist with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm looking for one of your forensic techs. Natalie Bu-Balsom," he said, stuttering over them sharing the same last name again.

"I think she's in with the boss-shouldn't be more than a few minutes," she said nodding towards the Commissioner's door.

"Thanks," he said as he found a seat to wait it out. He wasn't there long before the door opened, and he watched her walk out. A smile appearing on his face immediately at seeing his sister again. "Nat," he called out and saw the shock on her face at seeing him.

"Rex, what are you doing here?" she hissed as she walked forward.

Rex ignored the question and pulled her into a hug, "I've missed you so much."

"Me too," she said as she tried to blink away unexpected tears.

As he pulled out he kissed her cheek, "And that's from your Uncle Bo."

Natalie laughed as she wiped the corners of her eyes, "Now answer my question."

"I have a PI case I'm working with. Mentioned where it was to Bo and he told me that it just happened to be near where my favorite sister is living now. What are the chances of that?" he grinned.

"I'm your only sister, Rex. And yeah-what are the chances," she said with a side eye.

"So, while I wait for my contact why don't we go get something to eat and you can tell me all about your new life. If you can get away," he said as he looked at the Commissioner who gave Natalie a nod.

* * *

For the first few weeks after getting back from Hawaii John had imagined her showing up at his door. Saying she had come to terms with everything else in her life and was ready to be home again. But now, six months later, he'd given up on that idea.

He knew what she was doing-that she'd settled down a state over doing forensics. Bo knew the exact city as he'd given the recommendation, but if he'd told either of Natalie's parents that information he wasn't sure.

He also, by way of Roxy, knew that Rex had taken a few random PI cases that took him over that way, being gone for a few weeks at a time. He was glad she had some contact with family.

He'd asked Balsom how she was, but never got a real response. Saying if she wanted him to know she'd reach out to him.

So, when he walked into his apartment at the end of the day, he was surprised to see her sitting on his couch reading a magazine he'd left out, "Wait? This is my room-right?" he asked with mock concern and opened the door to check the room number again.

"Sorry, I needed a place to hide out and figured you wouldn't mind."

"Not at all. Are you here for just a visit or permanently?" he asked as he took his coat off and went to hang it up.

"For now, just a visit. I'm talking with Bo tomorrow about getting on in the forensics department here."

John nodded, hearing something about one of the tech's moving away soon. "What are your plans for tonight?"

"I need to go see my family-I'm just not sure I'm ready for that yet."

"They've missed you while you were gone," he said, leaving himself out of it.

Natalie sighed and began to ring her hands as to calm the anxiety that had been hitting her most of the day today, "I know. I just-."

He hated seeing her hurting and had an idea, "Did Rex tell you what I did?" he asked, a mischievous smile appearing on his face.

"No. What?"

"I bought Rodi's," he said proudly.

"You didn't," she laughed and got a nod out of him.

"Might not have been my best moment, but it's been a fun learning experience. So how about we go over to Llanfair together and then afterwards we'll go over and you can kick my butt at pool like always."

Natalie took a deep breath, "Ok."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Getting this thing wrapped up is a struggle. I'm not sure why-maybe the muse just wants to go back into hibernation. I'm trying to push through and get this thing finished up. Sorry if it seems choppy.

* * *

Natalie felt the tension in her shoulders melt away as John placed his hand on her neck and gave it a good squeeze. They hadn't said much on the drive over, but she had texted Rex about the plan. He'd offered his support, but she told him it was ok-that John was with her and she felt like he would be enough for now. She'd message him later.

"I want to back out of this-I want to get in my car and drive somewhere. Anywhere but here."

John turned her to him and placed his hands on her shoulders, making her look him the eye before talking, "You are the strongest person I know, Natalie. You can do this. I'll be here with you every step of the way. Ok?"

She nodded quietly and looked towards the door, "Do I knock? What the hell do I do, John?" she laughed as he leaned over and rang the doorbell before she could stop him.

When the door opened John nodded at the person standing there, "Brody."

"Hey. Come in," he said and stepped aside. He'd received a text from John earlier saying he was needing to stop by-who he had with him surprised him some.

"Brody and Jessica are dating. He also works with me at the station."

"Nice to meet you," she said with a polite nod.

"I'm going to go check on the girls-Viki and Jess are in the parlor," he said and started up the stairs.

"I'm going to talk shop with him-you ok?"

Natalie gave him a nod and a whispered thanks. Taking in a deep breath she reached the door handle and again thought of running, but instead turned it and opened it to see her mom on the couch and Jessica by the bookcase.

"Brody-who was at the-," Jessica froze at seeing her sister standing there. "Natalie? Is it really you?" she asked, and the tears began to fall.

"Hey, Jess," she said and suddenly her sister was in front of her and pulling her into a hug.

"Don't ever leave us again, ok? No matter what-we need you in our lives. Right mom?" she asked as Viki came over and held her tightly.

"My sweet girl," she said as pulled her back and pushed Natalie's hair out of her face. "I've missed you so very very much."

"I have too. I just-," she took a deep breath and tried to control her emotions. "I screwed up-and I hurt you all and lost the company. And Nash-."

"It's over. It's all over. You are home, that's what matters now," said Jessica as she grabbed Natalie's hand and pulled her to the sofa.

"Jared was working with Mitch," she said, unsure if they were aware of that point. Of everything she had to work through these past six months, this was the biggest point. To let a man so personally and intimately into her life and find out it was a ruse.

"We know," said Viki and she sat on the ottoman and put a hand on Natalie's knee.

"I was so stupid."

"No, you weren't darling. Because of your upbringing with Roxy you crave love and attention. Mitch knows you very well, and I imagine it would have been easy for him to tell Jared exactly what to do and say for you to follow his lead."

"I still feel so foolish," she said as she covered her face with her hands.

"Don't. We've all made mistakes," she said as she looked at Jessica.

"What was that look for?" asked Natalie, her head bobbing between her mom and sister.

"When I was being reintegrated, I admitted something and I need your forgiveness on," said Jessica as she took her hand. "I let Tess out. I knew what she wanted to do to you, and I let her. I could have fought her-could have told anyone what she was wanting to do, but I didn't. I was weak and hurt and let her almost take the best thing that's ever happened to our family away from all of us," she said as she wiped her eyes. "Please forgive me, Natalie."

Natalie took a deep breath, she wasn't expecting that and then looked up to see John leaning on the doorway watching her, "I will. It's going to take time. I'm going to go now-I'll be back by tomorrow sometime, ok?"

"Of course," said Viki as she gave her a hug, understanding it was a lot to take in and digest. "Take care of our girl, John."

"Will do," he said with a nod.

* * *

John stood there and watched Natalie study the table. He'd offered to close the bar down, letter her have some time alone in her thoughts, but she'd declined. He'd heard Jessica's confession and could only imagine the turmoil it was causing in Natalie's mind.

"You want to talk about anything?" he asked as their dinner was brought over to a nearby table and they stopped the game to eat.

"Not really," she said as she reached for the mustard and put it on the fries, getting the normal McBain reaction at the combination. "I need to digest it more before I can talk about it. I thought the worst part was being played by Jared. Now-I'm not sure."

John grabbed a fry and thought for a moment before speaking "This is what I think. It would have been easy for Jessica to not tell you at this point. She's obviously come to terms with the issue and knows bringing it up now will only hurt you. But she told you anyways-not to hurt you-but because she knows you need to get over this as well if you are ever going to have a relationship again."

Natalie nodded in agreement as she finished a bite of her burger. "Ready for a rematch?" she asked and jumped up from her seat.

"Definitely," he said as he took the empty bottles and went and got them refills.

Natalie was studying the table when she heard a laugh behind her and turned to see Marty Saybrooke there, "Marty-hey."

"Well, if it isn't the prodigal daughter finally returning."

"Nice to see you too," she said as she turned her back to the woman and kept studying the table.

"Why are you back exactly? You decided suddenly you wanted to feel like you belonged somewhere again? That you were worthy of their love and affection. They missed you, Natalie, but they got over it. They moved on with their lives and maybe you should as well."

Natalie turned around gripped the edge of the table, "I don't have to explain anything to you, Marty. The only ones that I need to explain to are my family and friends-you are neither. So, if you don't mind, John and I were about to enjoy a game or two."

"Of course, you were," she said as she looked over to him as he made his way back to the table.

"Want to tell me what that means?"

"You come back to town and what's the first thing you do? You throw yourself at the first available man."

"I-I wasn't throwing myself at anybody. I was just having a couple drinks and games of pool with my friend, but obviously that was a bad idea," she said as she looked over towards John. "I'm going to go for the night-thank you for the food and the game."

"You sure?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"Yeah, I'll be by the station tomorrow to talk with Bo. I'm staying at Rex's tonight," she said, feeling like she had to explain herself.

John watched as Natalie gathered her stuff and left. Sighing he turned to Marty, "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes, because I don't think it's healthy for her to come back. All she's going to do is stir up more hostility between herself and her family. Jessica doesn't need that."

"I heard her tonight tell Natalie otherwise. And everything Natalie needs is here-her family, her friends. She's gone through a lot these past six months-and all of that alone. But now she's ready to let us back in."

* * *

The banging on his apartment door made Rex jump, he wasn't expecting Natalie to be here for at least an hour, so that she was here already he was even more surprised, "Hey-how was Rodi's with John?"

"It was fine," she grumbled and flung her purse down on the couch.

"Ok-obviously something happened."

"Marty Saybrooke," she spoke with spite in her voice as she flopped onto the couch. "I was having a good time with John-he was explaining Jessica's point of view on telling me everything at this point. He went to get us some more beers and she walks in. Why are you smiling?"

"I'm just glad to have this fiery personality back in my life, that's all. It's been quiet without her around," he said as he sat down on the couch and turned to her. "So, what did she say?"

"She called me a prodigal daughter and asked why I was here again. Said everyone has moved on with their lives without me in it and that maybe I should just leave town again."

"I can promise you that no one has gotten over you being gone and everyone will be excited you are back. Still for good, right?"

Natalie gave a slight laugh, "Yes, still for good. I will have to go back and put my notice in. And empty my apartment."

"I'll help. And so will Roxy and whoever else we can find. Probably even McBain," he said with a slight smirk.

Natalie rolled her eyes, "Marty would love that. Are they together again? Wait-never mind, I don't care."

"You sure about that?" he asked with a tease.

"I'm perfectly content with having no man in my life right now, Rex. I'm getting my life on track-the last thing I want, or need is to start up a relationship with anyone."

"So, what is John exactly?"

Natalie thought quietly before responding. He was always there for her-just like she had always been there for him in the past. It was nice knowing she had someone like him to count on. "A good friend, that's all."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Confession time-I've had all but the last 2 lines of this chapter (and story) done since about midway through Stone. Not sure why I couldn't figure out those last lines, but they are done. I really don't know what else is coming down the pipe-we shall see. Until then-ya'll are the best-PCGirl.

* * *

"We'll have the paperwork figured out by the time you get back," said Bo as he and Natalie walked out of his office. "I know Sawyer is going to hate to see you go, but it'll be great having you here again," he said as he pulled Natalie into a hug.

"Thank you again, Bo," she said and saw John walk into the bull pen. "I'll see you in a week."

"Be safe on the drive there and back," he said as he gave her a last look before going back into his office.

Natalie stood there watching John come over to her, "Hi."

"Hi. Everything official now?"

"Will be when I get back. I have to give my notice and pack up my apartment first."

"Yeah, of course," he said, suddenly getting nervous. "Can we talk in my office about last night?"

Natalie looked at him, she really wanted to tell him there wasn't much to talk about, but instead just nodded and followed his lead. When they got to his office and the door was closed, she started, "John-."

"No, wait. Let me say this first," he interrupted. "What Marty said to you last night was completely over the line. She had no right to say that and I'm sorry."

Natalie nodded, "I feel like I need to lay out some ground rules about me being here. This isn't before with Evangeline. I'm not joining the force so I can flirt with you and make you realize you should have picked me. I'm doing this because it's what I want to do. And now, after finally getting to do it for the last four months, I've realized I'm damn good at it.

"I don't understand this supposed beef she has with me about how I treated my family. That's between me and them. Now I don't know if you and Marty are a couple and that is none of my business. But when she realizes I'm working here she's going to have a bigger beef with me, not that I care.

"That brings me to 'us'-that ship sailed a long time ago. And I think now-at this point-we can be colleagues without any awkwardness between us. Right?"

John smiled, he'd missed her personality more than any man should be allowed to, "Definitely. I'm glad you are finally doing what you love. Have a safe trip-see you in a week?"

"Yeah, I'll see you," she said with a smile and walked out of the office.

* * *

John looked up from his computer and saw Natalie walking through the hallway, looking at the time he knew by habit that he better grab her now or else have to wait an hour. And by then something else would come up.

"Hey, wait a second," he said as he jumped up and made it to the door.

"John-I have my-."

"I know-your appointment," he said, having gotten used to this time each week for the past month that she would disappear for an hour to call and talk about whatever you talk about to a shrink. "I got your report-I just need you to translate something for me," he said as he walked back to his desk to grab the report.

She sighed and held her hand out for the paper, "You are useless without me-you know that?"

John laughed, "Definitely."

* * *

Natalie sat there on the ledge of the hotel roof-looking out at the town around her. She'd never made it to her session. Walking out of the station she'd run into Jared. She hadn't known he was back in town-having heard from Rex that while she was gone him, Cristian, and John had approached him and suggested he leave Llanview. That even with her not here he had a target on his back.

Apparently, Charlie had told his son she was back in town, so he'd come back to talk with her. To try and get her to hear his side. Hearing the door open she was worried he'd found her, but turning she saw John standing there holding a six pack, "Hey."

"Hey," he said as he came over to the ledge and sat down. He hadn't thought anything of it when she didn't return from her session. It was when he walked into Rodi's at the end of the day and saw Jared Banks there that he knew why.

Handing her a beer he thought how for the first time since the initial visit to Llanfair that she might bolt, "I saw Banks at Rodi's-was hoping I'd find you here."

"Yeah, he caught me as I left the police station."

"I'm sorry, Natalie."

"For what?" she asked as she finally made eye contact with him. "You didn't tell him I was back. Charlie did."

"I'm sorry because we couldn't put him away for anything-he may have been sent here by Mitch to bring you to him, but he didn't. The only illegal thing he did was be a smarmy-ass punk."

Natalie laughed at his description, "He says he never was going to take me to Mitch. That after hearing me talk about him he realized he couldn't do it. And that since he wasn't going to then I should forgive him. Said what we had was real."

John paused and looked out on the city, "You forgave me and Cris before." He hoped she didn't think he wanted her to go back to Banks-just remind her that this wasn't the first time she'd been hurt by a lover and had to figure out whether to forgive them or not.

"That was different. What the two of you did-while it pissed me off-it didn't change my feelings about you or Cris. I still loved you both-and you two still are great friends. With Jared-just knowing what was supposed to happen-," she shivered.

He wasn't sure why he needed to speak this truth to her, or that it would help her current situation, but he knew it was necessary, "When I heard about the explosion, I realized how long it had been since I'd seen you. Like really seen and talked with you. I've missed that."

"Me too," she said, giving him a soft smile.

"If I hadn't agreed to breaking up after the accident none of this would have happened. Jared would never have had a shot to get anywhere near you."

"We needed a break, John. I had turned into someone I did not recognize. I had to find her again."

"Have you found her now?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

"You ever think-maybe-we should try again?" he asked, confused as to why saying it out loud was so nerve wracking.

Natalie looked at him and noticed how open he was being, "Where is this coming from, John?"

"I don't know," he said with a shrug and stood up, feeling like he needed to give them some space. "I mean what the hell have we been doing the last year, Natalie? I do know that I miss you being in my world. This past month has been nice-you being around-but I want more. I want to feel you in my arms at night and enjoy that first cup of coffee with you in the mornings."

Natalie was surprised at his words-she thought their chance was over. She wondered if he was right-if after all this time maybe they could get back to the same page again. Getting off the ledge she joined him in the middle of the roof and looked into those clear blue eyes that were telling her a story, "You really think we can do it?"

"I'd like to try," he said as he pushed her hair out of her face. Leaning down he covered her mouth with his and felt her reciprocate back with the same passion that his kiss held. Putting one arm around her waist he pulled her against him, reveling in the feeling of her being against him once again. They stood like that for what seemed like forever until they both had to come up for air.

"What if it doesn't work this time?" she asked, a part of her fearing the worst.

"It will," he said as he ran his thumb down her jaw line. "Above all others you belong with me. I know that now-I won't let us fail again."

She knew he was speaking the truth-that somehow they were going to get it right this time. It always seemed like after the collapse of whatever happened in her life John was there-to pull her up out of the rubble. And though she wasn't expecting it this time-he was there-and she wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
